I found I couldn't really step away, in particular from him... I couldn't believe that there would be a "happy ending" for everyone but him. He knew what fate awaited him in the end and yet he didn't hesitate to give up his power. It was heartbreaking. I spent the whole game wanting to teach him better, and then, at the end, he couldn't keep anything. Not even his love for everyone-- even though he retains just enough of it to miss it and to be upset that it's gone, and I could relate to that well enough that I understand why he tried to... why he discovered the save and load files. He's immortal and he's like that forever. It didn't feel right.
For months almost the only thing I did with myself was look at Undertale fan art and have feels. I also didn't want to leave that world. I stepped into it thinking it was just going to be a fun little game that appealed more to the tumblr teens than to adults. But when it came time to leave, I didn't want to remove myself from the mindset of being in the monster world. I didn't want to go out and face complicated problems. I wanted to be in a place where everything is just that simple, and you can deal fairly and get along with anyone if you try.
In the end, we are forced to step away-- that's exactly true, and that's the terrible and hard part. There's a definite note of how we don't belong with them and don't deserve them. Maybe we don't. It occurs to me that I wouldn't wish to inflict my imperfect self on the monster world. I've lived among humans all my life and my attitude reflects that, and I wouldn't want the monsters to have to deal with me. And who am I to say I deserve that kind of treatment? I don't deserve it; I just want it. It's not unfair that we are forced to leave the world, but it is sad.
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I found I couldn't really step away, in particular from him... I couldn't believe that there would be a "happy ending" for everyone but him. He knew what fate awaited him in the end and yet he didn't hesitate to give up his power. It was heartbreaking. I spent the whole game wanting to teach him better, and then, at the end, he couldn't keep anything. Not even his love for everyone-- even though he retains just enough of it to miss it and to be upset that it's gone, and I could relate to that well enough that I understand why he tried to... why he discovered the save and load files. He's immortal and he's like that forever. It didn't feel right.
For months almost the only thing I did with myself was look at Undertale fan art and have feels. I also didn't want to leave that world. I stepped into it thinking it was just going to be a fun little game that appealed more to the tumblr teens than to adults. But when it came time to leave, I didn't want to remove myself from the mindset of being in the monster world. I didn't want to go out and face complicated problems. I wanted to be in a place where everything is just that simple, and you can deal fairly and get along with anyone if you try.
In the end, we are forced to step away-- that's exactly true, and that's the terrible and hard part. There's a definite note of how we don't belong with them and don't deserve them. Maybe we don't. It occurs to me that I wouldn't wish to inflict my imperfect self on the monster world. I've lived among humans all my life and my attitude reflects that, and I wouldn't want the monsters to have to deal with me. And who am I to say I deserve that kind of treatment? I don't deserve it; I just want it. It's not unfair that we are forced to leave the world, but it is sad.