stay determined
Oct. 25th, 2021 03:59 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
yuumurakirikaWaking up, remembering nothing, knowing only that a vague uneasy worry moves you forward....
You're still filled with determination. In the future, perhaps something good also waits.
Remembering now, a childhood without love or care, a child without a name, only learning ways to be cruel....
You're still filled with determination. Perhaps there is a way to fix it still.
Finding love, learning love, promising forever....
You're filled with determination. For a brief time, you could do anything....
And then, it crashes away. Like the waves, you never could hold on.
But, stay determined....
Thinking, maybe you can find a therapist. Maybe there is a way, if you keep going forward. But, because of the experiences in your past, people are not allowed to say that they believe you, or, even to give you compassion.
Stay determined.
Every night, dreaming that she is there, but, you cannot be together. Dreaming about the ways that you are not good enough. You are childlike, you are abnormal, you are crazy.
Stay determined.
Knowing that your pain, even if it was almost from the time of your birth, even if it still makes your body and mind hurt when you touch it in the wrong way... it is not the worst thing anyone has experienced. Knowing that those people are in the world, lonely and afraid, and maybe, no one will ever find them or help them.
Stay determined. S▒ay de▒▒rm▒ned. S▒▒y d▒▒▒r▒▒▒ed.
You're still filled with determination. In the future, perhaps something good also waits.
Remembering now, a childhood without love or care, a child without a name, only learning ways to be cruel....
You're still filled with determination. Perhaps there is a way to fix it still.
Finding love, learning love, promising forever....
You're filled with determination. For a brief time, you could do anything....
And then, it crashes away. Like the waves, you never could hold on.
But, stay determined....
Thinking, maybe you can find a therapist. Maybe there is a way, if you keep going forward. But, because of the experiences in your past, people are not allowed to say that they believe you, or, even to give you compassion.
Stay determined.
Every night, dreaming that she is there, but, you cannot be together. Dreaming about the ways that you are not good enough. You are childlike, you are abnormal, you are crazy.
Stay determined.
Knowing that your pain, even if it was almost from the time of your birth, even if it still makes your body and mind hurt when you touch it in the wrong way... it is not the worst thing anyone has experienced. Knowing that those people are in the world, lonely and afraid, and maybe, no one will ever find them or help them.
Stay determined. S▒ay de▒▒rm▒ned. S▒▒y d▒▒▒r▒▒▒ed.
